My earliest memory of my relationship with money would be when I was around 9 years old. I was at a fundraising event, and I was moved to pledge to donate £8000. Lol. I know what you are thinking… which nine year old goes to fundraisers haha…. However, at 9 I was inspired and determined. Only one thing stood in my way. I did not have the money yet, but if I did, I would have given every last penny. I discussed my predicament with my mum, and she reminded me that if I got a good education, and a good job, I could earn my own money which I could choose to spend on anything I wanted.

Why is Wealth Important?

So you may be thinking to yourself "not another money post", "why is everyone so materialistic these days", "I don't need to be wealthy to be happy", "I just need enough to cover my basic needs".

Alternatively, you could be saying "I know all this, and I'm not interested in being rich" while thinking "I would love not ever to have to worry about money".

If you are thinking any of those thoughts, you are lovely and awesome, and I am so glad you are here. I want you to know you are definitely in the right place, so keep reading. So back to your thoughts? How do I know what you are thinking? Well, they are just a few of the many ideas that float around in my head every day even right now as I am writing this.

Why should we build Wealth?

Financial wealth is having an abundance of money, and having money gives you choices. It doesn’t make you happy or healthy, but it does give you options while you are living. Having money gives you the freedom to choose where you live, how you eat, what you wear, how you see the world, your access to education. More importantly, having money gives you the opportunity to use it to help others.

Gift of Help

Having a fulfilled life means maximising your potential. It means caring for people, loved ones and yourself. In our world, so many people will never be able to take care of themselves, not because they don't want to but because the life they lead will have beaten and bruised them so severely leaving them stuck.

There are always opportunities for you to use your gifts and talents to shine a light into someone else's darkness. So although you don't necessarily need money to help people, we both know money plays a big part in your life and mine so having a lot of cash will help.

Emergencies or Nuisances - Your choice

Sometimes life throws you unwanted surprises. As much as some people don't think they need more money than what they need to cover their current expenses etc., life doesn't always deliver experiences in pretty packages.

And there will be times when we will have to cough up cash for that unplanned bill to maintain our lifestyle. Such as a broken down boiler, an unexpected tax bill, unexpected legal expense, health treatments expenses.

Unplanned money emergencies of life can usually cause a lot of distress. Having extra money will reduce the unpleasantness of the situation and downgrade the crisis to a nuisance. If you had to pick one, which would you prefer? An emergency or a nuisance?  

Keeping up with The (insert your family name here)

For me, having a family was always important, and when I married the love of my life, we planned to build a family together. At the time, I worked for a fantastic small company, and unlike many more prominent companies, they didn't have a company policy in place to financially support their employees during maternity leave.

So, when we were expecting our first child, we saved hard and adjusted our lifestyle to cover our expenses during my maternity leave until I returned to work.

Two years later, we were expecting our second child, and we started saving aggressively to cover my maternity period. However, two months before our son arrived, the company folded up, and I was made redundant. My impending unemployment was a huge shock and inconvenience.

But the impressive part of this story was that the fear of how we would take care of ourselves and maintain our lifestyle significantly reduced because we had a healthy bank balance. I mean it was still on our minds,  but it didn't stop me from sleeping. The redundancy was a nuisance, but it gave us time to enjoy our new family. While the emergency cash we had saved up removed any immediate money pressures.

However, saving will not make you wealthy, and during my maternity, I started to learn and find out how to indeed grow wealth. The knowledge I have gained I am now sharing with you here for free so that we both can lead healthy wealthy lives.

Here are my top 3 things money can't buy

Having money drastically changes the options available to you. You get to do what you want to do, or buy what you want to buy and not what you have to do/can afford to buy. However, there are a few things money will not buy no matter how much you have to spend.

• Happiness

• Hours

• Heaven

Happiness

Saturday was cleaning day while I was a child. I would have to wake up and tidy my bedroom and have it inspected by my loving but OCPD mother. Everything had to be spotless, and everything had to be ‘just so'. I was never exactly sure what level of ‘just so' I would need to operate at, but I didn't let that consume my thoughts. I would spend my Saturday mornings laying on my bed daydreaming of laying on my bed in my beachfront house, with millions of dollars in the bank. Able to afford enough cleaners and I would live happily ever after'... Sigh.. bliss.

KNOCK KNOCK! ARE YOU UP? ‘ … ‘ Yes, mum' .. ‘GOOD GET CLEANING!'… "I MEAN NOW!!'..(me rolling my eyes but answering with a fake smile) “Yes mum”.

Yes, my mum did give out instructions in capital letters lol..

Anyway, before my daydream was interrupted, I was going to explain how I felt my ability to do what I wanted when I wanted was going to ensure I lived a happy life. Maybe like me, you also have your version of life which you frequently visit when you daydream. Perhaps it is owning and living in a big mansion, jetting around the world in your private jet, cruising in your yacht or any other Hollywood inspired idea of a happy life, or maybe you would love to feed a village, a country provide sponsorship for children who can’t afford a decent education. Whatever your dreams are, having money may help you realise them, but it won’t fill the void in you and make you truly happy. Nothing and no one can make you happy unless you decide to be right here, right now and with what you have to be happy. To be full of gratitude for both the things that you do have and the things that you will have.

In her best selling book “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, Bonnie Ware a former palliative nurse says one of the biggest regrets her dying patients shared with her was not permitting themselves to be happy. She goes on to say “happiness is a choice”.

The problem is that most people who aspire to have riches do not realise that happiness is not something you can buy but rather what you decide to be despite what your reality looks like now.  Money is merely a tool. When you live a lifestyle based on what you think you should want which doesn't truly align with your real personal values, purpose in life and hearts desires, the results tend to always lead to an unhappier life no matter how much money you have in the bank.

Money does not have the ability to make you happy. You do! - E.Buko

Hours

Having money gives you choices such as choices of what to do with your time, but it can not add an extra hour to your day or an extra day to your life. The most expensive gift you can give someone is your time. Because once you spend it, you cannot get it back.

People say time is money, but I believe “Time is more important than Money and more valuable if spent with loved ones”.- E.Buko

Another top regret people have when they are dying according to Bronnie Ware was “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”. She writes that “All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence” because they missed spending time celebrating milestones with their friends and family while in pursuit of more money, realising too late that you can’t buy back missed experiences.

Building a healthy wealthy lifestyle is about living a balanced life and making wise decisions on how to spend your money and your time.

It is far better to enjoy the time you have on earth, living and being fully present in every moment as time is more important than money.

Heaven

Finally, for those who believe in life after death, no amount of money can take you to heaven. Need I say more?

Common misconceptions to building wealth

Here are a few lies that I believed and therefore held me back. I hope that by shedding light on them, it might encourage you to take action.

I need specialised knowledge to start

No no no, you don't need any particular kind of education neither do you need a financial advisor to start investing and building wealth. All you need to do is begin.

If you are an employee take advantage of your workplace pension and if you are like me a stay at home mom, you can open a personal private pension from as little as 20 pounds per month.

I need to be good at budgeting

Again no you don't. I do not want to budget because I do not like the restrictions it places in my mind. That's just me. If you do budget well, that's great, and I am happy you do. I would like to know how you do it, so please send me an email with your best tips. But it just doesn't seem to work for me.

Here is what I do instead. I have different savings accounts/pots for all my dreams and goals such as my "taking my kids to Disneyland fund", "education fund", "the pay of my mortgage fund", "my house maintenance fund", "annual birthday treat fund", "saving to invest fund".

Yes, I have many pots which I fund with different amount of money because these things are significant to me.

And what do I do with what I have left in my account after bills are paid and savings allocated? Simple I splash out and have a great time. … why?

Because people like me don't like budgets or restrictions! (There must be something going on in my psyche lol). I do believe we should know where our money is going now, and where we want it to go tomorrow.

I feel I need to be a little bit clearer, so you don't get the wrong idea. There are some months when (after my husband and I have paid our bills and allocated savings) I have very little to do any splashing or even a sprinkle. But some months I have enough to treat my family to take out so I don't have to cook or meet up with friends for a fancy lunch, take my kids to a nice play area, or buy the latest cake decorating tools (which can be quite expensive).

You don’t need a budget you need to plan to save and invest and just do it.

I need to understand all investing strategies

Information overload usually leads to feeling overwhelmed which leads to what I would like to call "action paralysis". Which means you end up doing nothing at all.

It is essential to do some research and read and understand things, but sometimes we have to step out in faith and take the first step even when we do not know what the next step will be. This is true in investing and in any other new projects or goals you would like to accomplish.

I need to earn more

It's a known fact that the more you make, the more you spend. Don't believe me. OK let's do a small exercise.

Close your eyes and imagine your boss saying to you he is so impressed with all the hard work you have put in and your company will be giving you a pay rise of a certain percentage (pick your dream percentage). Take a minute now to imagine this happening. What comes to your mind? What's the first thing you do? Calculate "the percentage" of your current gross pay right? Good. You need to know what you pay rise means in pound signs.

So what is the second thing you do? Let me guess. You are ecstatic you think of someone to tell. But before that thought finishes you get a 3rd, then a 4th and then a 5th thought. Now the ideas are flooding your mind. Now the snowball begins, you begin to remember all the things that need fixing at home.

The bills you owe is now fighting for the spotlight in your mind with the massage you desperately need and rightly deserve. Feelings of guilt and exhaustion remind you that you need to lose weight and eat healthier meals. But all that costs money too.

Then there is the new shoes you need, a much-needed trip to the hair salon, the challenges some members of your family are facing that could do with some financial support, and maybe it rounded off with a pat on your back and an offer to buy yourself drinks and pizza tonight to celebrate.

And if you give in to all these credible thoughts, you will end up having less spare cash than before your pay rise. Don’t forget the taxman is coming for his share also.

After all, is said and paid it is hard to see the benefit of starting a long term investment plan. It will feel like a whole new monthly bill which you think you can't afford just right now. Maybe you will start after your next pay rise.

Hope you can see the best time to start saving money towards investing is now because tomorrow never comes.

I can start tomorrow

In theory Yes, yes you can. But in reality, tomorrow never comes. You know this, I know this and the world knows this. Don’t believe me? Think back to all those other things on your “to-do list” that you “should” have taken action by now on, but you left them there till tomorrow. I bet some things have been on your list for years. If you don’t do anything, nothing will happen. And you will look back six months, a year, three years from now and think I should have started “ yesterday.”

Look out for Beginner’s Guide to Wealth Part 2 where we will take about earning, automating, saving and investing.

Don’t forget to read PART 2